There’s no right way. No right way for you to feel about this. Be angry, if you’re angry. Be sad, if you’re sad. Be neither, if you’re not. No one is going to judge you, at least no one that matters. So feel it, let it go in, through and out, like a breath. This is the reality of being here. This is the place of meeting and parting. The longer you stay, the more times you will do this dance.
Tarot. The last month or so has been lots of soul searching and lots of looking in the mirror that is Tarot and trying to figure out what my next step will be. There were three jobs that I’d been offered: the first, a programmer at a games studio in Texas, the second an apprentice shot creator at a previsualization studio in LA, and the final as a technical director at the self-same studio. The question? Which offer to take? What is the right path? Which is the best destiny? Best destiny is an amusing concept; it contradicts its own terms, destiny being singular by definition. If there’s more than one, it’s not destiny, it’s choice.
I’ve been meaning to sit down and begin writing this for some time. Growing up, my dad went to great lengths to inculcate me with his spiritual views. At the time, I didn’t look at it that way, but now looking back it’s what it was. Instead of bibles, he used LSD. Instead of hymns, he used Pink Floyd. It was still proselytization though. Mom did the same thing, continues to do the same thing. I think it’s the nature of people to need to share their view of the universe, to get others on board so they don’t feel so alone. To some degree maybe that’s what this is as well. If I was being totally honest, I’d keep my mouth shut and leave you to figure it out for yourselves. Sometimes I think that would be the best way. Given all the problems religion causes, the blind spots it engenders, I think anyone giving “spiritual” guidance would best sit on their hands.
Since last posting (so long ago), I’ve continued to be involved in the Wrong Rock project as an animator and associate tech artist. However, what’s taking up most of my time has been starting a Masters of Computer Science at the local university, Western Michigan University. It’s my hope that by fleshing out my programming toolkit, I can make myself a more viable technical director and rigger for production. Things have gone well so far (4.0 GPA after three terms), so fingers crossed.